happy now, not happy when.

Choose Happy Now, Ditch “I’ll Be Happy When…”

All we have is here & now.


Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is a mere idea. So in this moment, in all that exists, shouldn’t we choose happiness? If you don’t know this yet, as it is not widely known and it is a powerful tool, happiness is a choice, and you can choose it any time, any day, in any situation.


Of course, there is no debate that many factors contribute to our potential level of happiness. If you just lost your job, your spouse is leaving you, and your dog ran away, absolutely your potential for happiness is considerably lower, and the strength it will require to choose it will be much higher.


The empowering fact however, is that in any circumstance, we can choose how we are going to handle the situation and from what angle we are going to look at it. For example, loss of job you could see loss of income, or potential for new and exciting endeavors. You can ponder “maybe I lost this job because there is something else I am supposed to be doing.”


When my dad was let go from his job when I was in fourth grade, I could see the way it affected my parents. I didn’t quite grasp what this meant in the adult world, losing a job, but I could see and feel the solemness in the house.


Fortunately, this loss of his job, where he worked tireless hours building someone else’s dream, afforded him the opportunity to get busy building his own. In his spare time prior to the incident, I would spend quality time with my dad going to flea markets and auctions and even dumpster diving. Now that he had been let go, his spare time became greater and he actually created a career out of what was once a hobby. I personally like to think the universe was taking some control in the series of events that lead up this.


Considering the loss of spouse, more than likely the relationship was enduring some hardships and even this can be a blessing in some lives. The end of a relationship can bring new opportunities for healthier, more balanced connections in the future. No doubt it hurts and it is hard, but broken paths often lead to brighter futures.


In all of these hard times, or even the times that seem okay but aren’t quite what we imagine happiness to be, we have two choices. We can choose to focus on  “I’ll be happy when”, or we can choose “I am happy now.”


When we adopt the “I’ll be happy when” attitude, we very strongly reinforce internally, that we are not happy now. I, for a long time, lived in an “I’ll be happy when I fit into a size 7” state. I made my weight, and my physical appearance, a key player in my happiness. I spent days spending all my might just wishing I were skinnier because then I would be… happy, no doubt.


The fact is people, that when, no matter how hard you try or work, may never come. That when may not be on your path or on your journey. Maybe you are destine for something else, or somewhere else, or someone else. How tragic that you never chose happiness.


If you do achieve your when, if you cling too tightly to this “I’ll be happy when” mindset, there is a strong possibility that even once you get to this when that you are aiming for, the happiness you find will be fleeting. It will be short lived because you begin to wonder, well I made it here, and this is great, so maybe I can set even bigger goals and be even happier.


You begin to make the plans and build the dream, but then before you know it, you have decided that this next level is where you will find real happiness. Once again, your happiness now has been annihilated by the aspirations for tomorrow.


Goal setting and dream building absolutely has a place and is an amazing thing! There is so much we can do in this world. Places to see, challenges to conquer, relationships to build. But we must seek balance and maintain a healthy relationship with our goals and our current state.


There is a documentary on Netflix called Happy. I highly recommend this to every person who has potential for feels, so… everyone. This documentary takes on the challenge of measuring happiness and determining who the happiest people are. They visit a variety of people in a variety of cultures in an effort to determine who is the happiest and why.


The first family they follow lives in a make shift hut, primarily constructed of tarps and wooden planks. The father is a rickshaw driver and he loves his job. When asked why, he says because it enables him to feed his family. He and his wife have several children and they all appear to be what we would describe as happy. They laugh, they smile, and they have what we would consider to be very little. If you asked them however, they would tell you they have everything in the world.


In many cultures, it is suggested to us through media and marketing, what equates to happiness. The problem is that it is all too easy to listen blindly, without question. If there is always bigger and better, prettier, fancier, newer… and you strive to always have the biggest, bestest, fanciest, you will never find happiness now, because it is an insurmountable goal.


The truth is my lovelies, happiness is here and now. It is in the food in your belly and cabinets. It is in the laughter between you and a friend or stranger. It is in air in your lungs. It is in the clothes, no matter how fancy or few, you have to keep you warm. Happiness is a choice. It is not always an easy choice, but it is a choice nonetheless. And we all have what it takes to make the choice for happiness.


Here and now, I encourage you to choose joy. Choose to shift your focus, realign your priorities, and feel everything that is amazing in this very moment, because happiness, is here.


all my good vibes – xo

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