As I have gotten older, I have observed that more and more I find myself uncomfortable and uneasy in social settings or gatherings of many people. Anywhere there are packs of people, I find myself going to a dark corner of my mind where I do not want to be. This is the place where I become judgey and critical.
I am certain we have all been there. We see a mom on a phone while her kid is playing and we judge her. We see a man all decked out in the finest threads, with a fancy whip (I think that is what they call cars), and we judge him. We see a girl of a young age wearing too little shirt and too little shorts, and we judge. We judge. We judge. We judge.
Are we innocent, as the judgers? No. I certainly don’t claim innocence. I am human. You are human. He and she are human. We are all imperfect beings stitched together with good intention. That, is what we need to remember. Not one of us is flawless, knows everything, or is always “right”.
Try empathy. The next time you find yourself in a situation where your mind begins to wander to a place known for it’s tendency to critique and judge, steer away and try understanding and compassion. Try to consider where these actions may be rooted. What human part of this person is engaged and on.
Now, that being said, also don’t spend too much time being sad or woeful that she may be dressing that way because she feels she needs to get attention or he may be driving that car because he feels it bumps him up on the social rankings. Unfortunate it may be, but that does not make us less human or less loving as people.
Inside every one of us is a very loving core. One of my truest beliefs that I will always hold strong to, is that people are innately good. From the moment we are born, we are pure of heart and long to do good things. We are not born with vicious tendencies. We are born with the desire to love and care and help.
When you see a fellow urbanite and quickly begin to judge their choices, remember how little you are seeing of this person, and how much more depth and soul there is to this person, this fellow human. They may have a lover, who they cook for, or a child, they tend to when they are sick, or a dog who they take to the park, or a co worker they lifted up with kind words when he or she was feeling inadequate.
Remember that what we see is only the tip of the iceberg. People are so much more complex than a single action. So next time you begin to judge, for your sake and the people around you, try something new. Try compassion, understanding, and an open mind. This will allow for you to have a more pleasant energy inside and out. In turn, as always, contributing to the greater good.